Limericks
There was an Old Man on whose nose,
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away,
At the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
There was an Old Lady of France,
Who taught little Ducklings to dance;
When she said: 'Tick-a-tack!',
They only said, 'Quack!',
Which grieved that Old Lady of France.
There was an Old Person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
But some very large bees,
Stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.
Ihere was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon,
To examine the moon,
That deluded old man of the Hague.
Ihere was an Old Man of Coblenz,
The length of whose legs was immense;
He went with one prance,
From Turkey to France,
That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
There was an Old Man of Aosta,
Who possessed a large cow, but he lost her;
But they said: 'Don't you see
She has rushed up a tree?
You invidious Old Man of Aosta!'
There was an Old Man of Peru
Who never knew what he should do;
So he sat on a chair,
And behaved liked a bear,
That unhappy Old Man of Peru.
There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
But its colour and size,
So bedazzled her eyes,
That she very soon went back to Dorking.
There was an Old Man of the South
Who had an immoderate mouth;
But in swallowing a dish
Which was quite full of fish,
He was choked-that Old Man of the South.
There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin,
Till he once, by mistake,
Was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked the old man of Berlin.
There was an Old Man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, To eat mice,
Is not proper or nice,'
That amiable Man of Dumbree.
There was an Old Person of Tring,
Who embellished his nose with a ring;
He gazed at the moon
Every evening in June,
That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
There was an Old Man who made bold
To affirm that the weather was cold;
So he ran up and down,
In his grandmother's gown,
Which was woollen, and not very old.
There was a Young Lady of Bute,
Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
She played several jigs,
To her uncle's white pigs,
That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
There was an Old Person of Rheims,
Who was troubled by horrible dreams;
So to keep him awake,
They fed him with cake,
That afflicted Old Person of Rheims!
There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
Who made a remarkable curtsey;
She twirled round and round,
Till she sank underground,
Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand,
With a Pig in each hand,
But returned in the evening to Anerley.
There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
But she caught up a spade,
And called out, 'Who's afraid?'
That remarkable Lady of Hull.
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared! -
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'
There was an Old Man of the North,
Who fell into a basin of broth;
But a laudable cook,
Fished him out with a hook,
Which saved that Old Man of the North.
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